Ephesians 5:24

This verse comes from a larger passage in Paul's letter to the Ephesians — an early Christian church in what is now western Turkey — where he describes how believers should relate to one another in households and marriages. Critically, just one verse before this (Ephesians 5:21), Paul says all believers should 'submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.' That mutual submission is the foundation for everything that follows. Here Paul draws an analogy: as the church — the community of all believers — submits to Christ, wives are called to submit to their husbands. But the analogy carries enormous weight in both directions, because the very next verse calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church — meaning sacrificially, at the cost of himself.

Jesus, you didn't just teach us how to love — you showed us, at tremendous cost. Keep me from using scripture as a measuring stick for other people while avoiding what it's asking of me. Teach me what it looks like to love sacrificially rather than strategically, today and in ordinary ways. Amen.

Few verses in the Bible have been quoted more selectively — or used more carelessly to cause harm — than this one. Pulled from its context, 'wives should submit to their husbands in everything' sounds like a blank check for male authority with no conditions attached. But Paul is building something far more demanding than a simple hierarchy. He's painting a picture of a marriage shaped by the cross. And in the same breath, he hands husbands an assignment so costly it makes 'submit' look like the easier half of the deal: love her the way Jesus loved the church, which meant giving everything, holding nothing back, dying for it. Before you land on what this verse requires of someone else, sit with what it's genuinely asking of you. If you're married, the real question underneath this passage isn't who's in charge — it's whether either of you is willing to serve first. And if this verse has ever been used to diminish you, to silence you, to justify control — know this clearly: Paul's vision has nothing to do with power and everything to do with each person laying themselves down for the other. That's the only model on offer here, and it cuts every direction.