Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
This proverb sets up a sharp contrast between two ways of moving through the world. Pride, in the biblical sense, isn't just arrogance — it's a deep self-centeredness that resists correction and refuses to believe others might know something you don't. When two proud people clash, neither will back down, and a simple disagreement becomes a battle. Wisdom, by contrast, is something that grows in people who stay genuinely open to counsel and input from others. The word translated 'advice' here refers to guidance or perspective from those around you. The proverb is blunt: pride doesn't just cause problems occasionally — it breeds them, like a factory running around the clock.
God, I want to be right more than I want to be wise, and I know it. Help me hold my opinions a little more loosely — not so I believe nothing, but so I can actually hear the people around me. Teach me to grow from correction instead of recoiling from it. Amen.
Here's the uncomfortable thing about pride: it almost never announces itself. Nobody goes into an argument thinking, 'I'm being proud right now.' You just think you're right. And maybe you are right — but this proverb isn't even making a point about who's correct. It's making a point about what pride does. Pride has to win. And when two people both have to win, nobody actually does. Think about the last argument that spiraled — the one that started about something small and lasted for days, bleeding into every interaction. Somewhere in there, an ego got too wrapped up in the outcome. The second half of this verse is where the quiet good news lives: 'wisdom is found in those who take advice.' Not in those who have all the answers, but in those humble enough to hear from others. That's actually an opening. Wisdom isn't a fixed trait you either possess or don't — it's a posture you can choose today. You can decide to ask a question instead of making a statement. You can say 'help me understand' instead of building your counterargument while the other person is still talking. Wisdom is available. The only real question is whether you're willing to reach for it.
What does this proverb identify as the root cause of quarrels — not the trigger or the occasion, but the deeper source? What does that tell you about how conflicts actually start?
Think of a recurring conflict in your life, even a low-grade one. Where might pride — yours or someone else's — be quietly feeding it?
Is there a difference between healthy confidence and the kind of pride this verse warns against? Where's the line, and how do you know when you've crossed it?
When someone offers you unsolicited feedback or correction, what's your gut reaction? What does that reaction reveal about where you are on the pride-to-wisdom spectrum?
Is there a relationship or situation in your life right now where you've been unwilling to genuinely hear another perspective? What would it look like to actually listen this week?
Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
1 Corinthians 13:4
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
Proverbs 12:15
Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.
Proverbs 19:20
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Philippians 2:3
And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?
1 Samuel 18:8
A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.
Proverbs 12:16
He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.
Proverbs 28:25
Through pride and presumption come nothing but strife, But [skillful and godly] wisdom is with those who welcome [well-advised] counsel.
AMP
By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.
ESV
Through insolence comes nothing but strife, But wisdom is with those who receive counsel.
NASB
Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
NIV
By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.
NKJV
Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.
NLT
Arrogant know-it-alls stir up discord, but wise men and women listen to each other's counsel.
MSG