When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach.
This verse comes from Psalm 69, one of the most anguished prayers in the Bible, written by David — a shepherd, soldier, and king of ancient Israel who faced constant enemies, betrayal, and personal failure. Fasting and weeping were sincere Hebrew practices of mourning and spiritual devotion — a way of humbling yourself and drawing close to God in pain. But instead of receiving compassion for his grief, the psalmist is mocked for it. The people around him turn his sincerity into a punchline. This is a single verse in the middle of a long cry for help, and it captures something painfully specific: the suffering of being ridiculed for the very acts of faith meant to sustain you.
Lord, you see the places where following you has cost me something — the quiet sting of being dismissed, the friendships that cooled, the moments I felt foolish for caring. I do not always know how to hold that. Give me the courage to bring my hurt to you honestly, without pretending it does not hurt. Amen.
There is a particular kind of loneliness in being laughed at for taking something seriously that others dismiss. Maybe it was not fasting — maybe it was tearing up during worship when everyone else looked composed, or admitting you prayed about a job decision, or telling a coworker you were going to church on a Sunday morning. The psalmist's grief here is layered: he is already suffering, already weeping, already fasting in honest desperation — and then someone laughs at him for it. His sincerity becomes ammunition. What is striking is that David does not pretend it does not sting. He names it. He tells God plainly: this too is part of what I am enduring. There is something honest and quietly courageous about that. You do not have to perform strength in front of God when your faith is costing you socially. You are allowed to bring the sting of ridicule, the embarrassment, the specific ache of being mocked for caring — and lay it right at his feet. He does not dismiss it. He hears it.
What do you think the psalmist was hoping for when he wept and fasted — and why do you think he was met with scorn instead of compassion?
Have you ever been mocked, dismissed, or made to feel foolish for taking your faith seriously? What did that experience do to you?
Is it possible that mockery and social cost are sometimes a normal part of genuine faith rather than a sign something went wrong? What does that mean for how you interpret hard experiences?
How do you respond when someone around you expresses grief or faith openly — do you give them space for it, or does it make you uncomfortable? What does your reaction reveal?
What is one sincere act of faith you have been avoiding because you are worried what someone might think — and what would it actually take to do it anyway?
Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge? Behold, in the day of your fast ye find pleasure, and exact all your labours.
Isaiah 58:3
And it came to pass, when I heard these words, that I sat down and wept, and mourned certain days, and fasted, and prayed before the God of heaven,
Nehemiah 1:4
But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.
Psalms 35:13
Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words.
Daniel 10:12
The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!
Luke 7:34
Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
Matthew 6:16
And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes:
Daniel 9:3
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:3
When I wept and humbled myself with fasting, It became my reproach.
AMP
When I wept and humbled my soul with fasting, it became my reproach.
ESV
When I wept in my soul with fasting, It became my reproach.
NASB
When I weep and fast, I must endure scorn;
NIV
When I wept and chastened my soul with fasting, That became my reproach.
NKJV
When I weep and fast, they scoff at me.
NLT
When I poured myself out in prayer and fasting, All it got me was more contempt.
MSG