1 Timothy 1:12

Paul, who wrote this letter to his younger coworker Timothy, had a dramatic and dark past. Before becoming one of Christianity's most influential figures, he had actively persecuted Christians — hunting them down, consenting to their deaths, and trying to destroy the early church. His entire direction changed when Jesus appeared to him on the road to Damascus (described in Acts 9). Here, he pauses to thank Jesus for two specific things: being given strength to carry out his mission, and being considered 'faithful' — trustworthy enough to be appointed to serve. Paul is marveling that despite everything he had done, Jesus looked at him and said, 'I'll use this man.'

Jesus, I'm stunned that you look at people like me and see someone worth trusting. Where I've let my past set the ceiling on what I think I'm allowed to do, remind me that you appointed Paul — and that you haven't run out of appointments. Give me the courage to say yes. Amen.

There's something almost unbearable about the phrase 'he considered me faithful.' Paul knew exactly what he had been. He had stood watching as Stephen was stoned to death. He had dragged believers from their homes. And yet — Jesus looked at that man and didn't just forgive him. He trusted him. Not 'he'll do in a pinch.' Not 'I suppose we can work with this.' He appointed him. Gave him a mission. Handed him the keys. Paul never got over it, and you can hear the wonder still wet in his words decades later. You may be carrying something from your past that tells you you're disqualified — from leadership, from usefulness, from being trusted with anything that matters. Paul's testimony doesn't erase what happened before. But it does reframe it. Jesus didn't choose Paul despite his story. He chose him through it. The man who had once destroyed churches became the man who planted them across the known world. What has your history made you uniquely capable of understanding? That might not be wasted material. That might be exactly your mission.