Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Jesus is teaching his followers how to handle conflict within the community of believers. The word "brother" here refers to a fellow follower of Jesus — someone in the same faith community. The instruction is remarkably practical and counter-cultural: instead of venting to others or going silent, the first step is a private, direct conversation. The goal isn't punishment or proving a point. Jesus frames success not as "winning the argument" but as "winning your brother over" — restoring the relationship, which he treats as a prize worth having.
Lord, give me the courage to go to the person who hurt me — not to win the argument, but to win them back. Help me want restoration more than I want to be right. Quiet the part of me that would rather vent than reconcile, and give me words that are honest and kind. Amen.
When someone hurts you, the last thing you want to do is talk to them about it. It's so much easier to talk *about* them — to a friend, a spouse, anyone who will validate your side of the story. Jesus cuts through all of that with a deceptively simple instruction: go. Just go. Have the uncomfortable conversation, quietly, before it becomes a courtroom case played out in front of everyone you know. But here's what catches me every time I read this: the goal Jesus sets isn't to be right. It's to win your brother — to get him back. That word "won" is the language of a prize, something treasured. Jesus is saying that the other person, even the one who hurt you, is worth the awkwardness, the risk of rejection, the vulnerability of saying "what you did mattered to me." The question isn't whether you're brave enough to have the conversation. It's whether you value the relationship enough to try.
What does Jesus mean when he says "if he listens, you have won your brother over"? What is actually being "won" in that moment — and why does Jesus frame it that way?
Think of a conflict you've been quietly avoiding. What's the real reason you haven't gone directly to that person yet?
Why do you think Jesus instructs you to do this privately first, before involving anyone else? What does that tell you about how he views the person who wronged you?
How would your closest relationships look different if you committed to going directly to the person before talking to anyone else about a conflict?
Is there a specific person you need to go to this week? What is one honest, non-accusatory thing you could say to open that conversation?
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Colossians 3:13
Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.
James 5:20
Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.
Leviticus 19:17
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
James 5:16
And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
Luke 17:4
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Galatians 6:1
Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
Luke 17:3
Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;
James 5:19
"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens and pays attention to you, you have won back your brother.
AMP
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
ESV
'If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
NASB
A Brother Who Sins Against You “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
NIV
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
NKJV
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.
NLT
"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend.
MSG