Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.
The book of Proverbs is a collection of ancient wisdom sayings from Israel, many attributed to King Solomon, written to help people navigate everyday life with shrewdness and integrity. This verse is a dry-eyed observation about human social behavior: people are magnetically drawn to those with power and resources. A 'ruler' represents anyone with authority or influence; a 'man who gives gifts' is anyone with wealth or generosity to dispense. The phrase translated 'curry favor' literally means to stroke or flatter someone's face — to seek approval through flattery. This verse is not a command or a promise; it is a realistic, somewhat unsettling picture of how social dynamics often work, and it has been true for thousands of years.
Lord, it's easy to be drawn to people for what they can give me rather than for who they are. Help me see people the way you do — not for their usefulness, but for their worth. Make me the kind of person who shows up when there's nothing to gain. Amen.
Spend five minutes on social media and you'll see this proverb alive and clicking. We orbit the influential. We angle for introductions to the right people, mention the right names, show up where the powerful show up. There's nothing new about this — ancient people were doing it in the courts of kings long before any of our platforms existed. The proverb doesn't moralize or condemn; it simply holds up a mirror with an unflinching hand. And that might be the most uncomfortable thing it does — because most of us will quietly recognize ourselves in it. Here's the question this verse presses without saying it out loud: who do *you* gravitate toward, and why? It's worth sitting with honestly. Are the people you pursue interesting to you for who they actually are, or for what they might open for you? And on the other side — who shows up for you when you have nothing to offer? Real friendship survives the removal of benefit. This ancient line of wisdom is an invitation to notice the difference between people who value you and people who are using you — and to ask, with some honesty, whether you've been doing the same.
The proverb describes 'currying favor' as almost universal human behavior — do you think that's an accurate picture of how people tend to operate? Where do you see it most clearly?
Can you think of a time when you realized someone's friendliness toward you was tied to what you could offer them? How did that land?
This verse is descriptive, not prescriptive — it observes human nature rather than condemning it. Does that make it more or less convicting to you personally, and why?
How does the way you treat people who can't do anything for you reflect on your character — and who in your life might actually fall into that category?
What would it look like to intentionally invest time or energy in someone this week who has nothing obvious to offer you in return?
A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.
Proverbs 18:16
A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.
Proverbs 17:8
A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.
Proverbs 21:14
In the light of the king's countenance is life; and his favour is as a cloud of the latter rain.
Proverbs 16:15
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6:23
The king's wrath is as the roaring of a lion; but his favour is as dew upon the grass.
Proverbs 19:12
And the daughter of Tyre shall be there with a gift; even the rich among the people shall intreat thy favour.
Psalms 45:12
Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.
Proverbs 19:4
Many will seek the favor of a generous and noble man, And everyone is a friend to him who gives gifts.
AMP
Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.
ESV
Many will seek the favor of a generous man, And every man is a friend to him who gives gifts.
NASB
Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts.
NIV
Many entreat the favor of the nobility, And every man is a friend to one who gives gifts.
NKJV
Many seek favors from a ruler; everyone is the friend of a person who gives gifts!
NLT
Lots of people flock around a generous person; everyone's a friend to the philanthropist.
MSG