Proverbs 26:28

This proverb from the book of Proverbs exposes the hidden motivation beneath two forms of deceptive speech. A "lying tongue" is straightforward — saying things you know to be false. "Flattery" is more subtle: insincere, excessive praise given not to genuinely encourage someone but to manipulate them for your own purposes. What makes this verse striking is what it says lives underneath both: *hatred*. The liar despises the person they deceive enough to damage them with false information. The flatterer holds the person they're praising in enough contempt to lead them toward ruin with empty words. Both forms of dishonesty, however different they feel, spring from the same poisoned root.

God, I want to be someone whose words can actually be trusted — not just pleasant to hear. Show me where I've been flattering people instead of genuinely loving them. Give me the courage to be honest and the wisdom to be kind at the same time. Amen.

Flattery sounds nothing like hatred. It sounds warm — generous, even. "You're incredible." "Honestly, no one does this better than you." "I don't know what I'd do without you." The words land like gifts. But there is a version of praise that isn't given *to* someone — it's deployed *at* them. It's the compliment calculated to get something, to avoid a hard conversation, to keep someone pliable. And Proverbs doesn't soften what that really is: it names it ruin. Not a little white kindness. Ruin. The harder part is that flattery can hide inside us dressed as politeness. Telling a friend their flawed plan is brilliant is easier than saying gently, "I have some real concerns." Offering a compliment is safer than offering honest feedback. But ask yourself — is there someone in your life you *flatter* rather than *genuinely encourage*? Someone you keep comfortable with your praise instead of serving them with your honesty? The line between the two isn't always obvious, but one way to find it is to ask: am I saying this for them, or for me? Real love tells the truth. Not harshly — but truthfully. That distinction might be the most important thing you bring to your closest relationships.