I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.
This verse comes from Psalm 35, a prayer written by David — the king of Israel, a warrior and poet who composed many of the Psalms. David is crying out to God about enemies who are treating him unjustly. In this verse, he recalls how deeply he mourned for those same people back when they were sick and suffering — long before they turned on him. He uses three layered comparisons: grieving like you would for a close friend, for a brother, for your own mother. Each image intensifies the depth of care. Read alongside the rest of the psalm, this detail makes the betrayal sharper and David's honesty before God more raw.
Lord, you know the relationships I carry quietly — the ones that ended badly, the ones I still mourn. I bring them to you honestly, without pretending I'm over it. Hold my grief, and hold me. Amen.
He bowed his head and wept — for the people who would later ruin him. David describes in this psalm how he mourned for his enemies when they were suffering. Not a polite, arms-length acknowledgment. Grief like you'd carry for a close friend, a brother, your own mother. Three images, each one more intimate. And then, the turn: those same people watched his downfall and threw a party. The depth of care he'd given makes the betrayal almost unbearable to read. This verse doesn't try to resolve the pain. David isn't on the other side of it, looking back with peaceful closure. He's in it, bringing the full honest record to God: I loved them well, and they didn't return it. That's allowed. You don't have to minimize the loss to seem spiritually mature. You don't have to pretend the relationship didn't matter because it ended badly. Sometimes the most honest prayer you can offer is simply: I genuinely mourned for you. I had no idea it would end like this. And it still hurts.
Why do you think David uses three separate comparisons — friend, brother, mother — to describe his grief? What is he trying to communicate with that progression?
Have you ever grieved deeply for someone who later hurt or betrayed you? What was that experience like, and did it change how you give care to others?
Does loving someone generously protect you from being betrayed by them? What does David's experience suggest about the relationship between love and vulnerability?
How do you hold compassion for someone who has become an adversary — and is that even possible without minimizing the harm they caused?
Is there a broken relationship you've been carrying quietly — one you haven't fully brought to God? What would it look like to be this honest with him about it?
And they mourned, and wept, and fasted until even, for Saul, and for Jonathan his son, and for the people of the LORD, and for the house of Israel; because they were fallen by the sword.
2 Samuel 1:12
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Romans 12:15
Did not I weep for him that was in trouble ? was not my soul grieved for the poor?
Job 30:25
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:44
Saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.
Luke 19:42
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
Psalms 42:5
And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it,
Luke 19:41
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
Genesis 24:67
I behaved as if grieving for my friend or my brother; I bowed down in mourning, as one who sorrows for his mother.
AMP
I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother; as one who laments his mother, I bowed down in mourning.
ESV
I went about as though it were my friend or brother; I bowed down mourning, as one who sorrows for a mother.
NASB
I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother.
NIV
I paced about as though he were my friend or brother; I bowed down heavily, as one who mourns for his mother.
NKJV
I was sad, as though they were my friends or family, as if I were grieving for my own mother.
NLT
My prayers were like lead in my gut, like I'd lost my best friend, my brother. I paced, distraught as a motherless child, hunched and heavyhearted.
MSG