And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
This verse comes from Deuteronomy, which records the laws and instructions Moses gave to the Israelites before they entered the land of Canaan. This particular law describes an extreme situation: parents formally bringing a persistently rebellious, out-of-control son before the city's elders for communal judgment. The words "profligate and drunkard" describe someone who has completely abandoned self-control and community standards — not a person who made mistakes and is learning, but someone who has refused every form of correction over time. Scholars note this law likely functioned more as a serious deterrent than a procedure routinely carried out. Its existence speaks to how ancient Israelite society understood the weight of sustained, willful rebellion against family and community bonds.
Father, this passage is hard, and I don't come to it with easy answers. I bring you the people I love who seem lost to their own choices. Give me wisdom to know when to hold on and when to let consequences speak — and remind me that even when you let us go, you never stop grieving over us. Amen.
This is one of those passages that stops you cold. Parents bringing their own child before the elders. It's stark and hard to sit with. But before you rush past it or file it away under "cultural context," notice what it honestly acknowledges: some forms of rebellion — the kind that refuses every offered hand, every correction, every act of love extended over years — carry real and serious weight. Not just for one family, but for everyone around them. Most of us will never face anything like this scenario. But nearly all of us know what it is to watch someone we love choose destruction over and over, turning away from every offered hand. We know the grief of that — the lying-awake wondering if you said enough, did enough, loved enough. This text doesn't give you a clean answer or a tidy resolution. What it does is tell the truth: love doesn't mean there are no limits, some choices carry genuine consequences, and grief and truth can live in the same breath at the same time.
What does the severity of this law suggest about how seriously ancient Israelite society viewed persistent rebellion against family and community — and does that seriousness feel foreign, familiar, or somewhere in between to you?
How do you hold together genuine grace and real consequences when someone you love keeps choosing a destructive path despite every effort to reach them?
Does this passage challenge or confirm your assumptions about what "tough love" actually looks like in practice — and where does it push back on how you've thought about that?
How does your community — your church, your family, your close circle of friends — actually respond to persistent, harmful behavior in someone they care about? What does that response reveal about what you collectively value?
Is there someone in your life you've been enabling rather than truly loving well? What would a more honest and genuinely caring response actually look like?
Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions ? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes?
Proverbs 23:29
He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.
Proverbs 19:26
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Proverbs 29:17
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.
Proverbs 20:1
For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.
Proverbs 23:21
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Ephesians 5:18
Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:21
There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
Proverbs 30:11
"They shall say to the elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.'
AMP
and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’
ESV
'They shall say to the elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.'
NASB
They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard.”
NIV
And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’
NKJV
The parents must say to the elders, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a glutton and a drunkard.’
NLT
and say to the city fathers, "This son of ours is a stubborn rebel; he won't listen to a thing we say. He's a glutton and a drunk."
MSG