Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
This verse comes from advice given by a mother to her royal son, King Lemuel, at the opening of Proverbs 31. In the verses just before it, she warns him that kings should not drink wine or strong beer, because it clouds judgment and causes rulers to forget justice and exploit the vulnerable. Then, almost without pause, she turns it around: give strong drink to those who are dying, and wine to those in deep anguish — let them drink and forget their suffering. The contrast is intentional. The ruler needs a clear mind to serve justly. The suffering person needs relief, not a lecture. This reflects an ancient practice of using wine as pain management for those near death or in overwhelming grief. The underlying principle is plain compassion: do not make people who are already perishing justify their need for comfort.
Lord, give me eyes to see the people around me who are quietly perishing — and the courage to simply show up without needing to fix anything first. Help me not overthink compassion. Let me be someone who brings relief instead of more demands to people who are already worn through. Amen.
Nobody puts Proverbs 31:6 on a coffee mug. It won't show up in a graduation speech or a wedding sermon. But buried in the most practical passage in the Bible is something quietly radical: bring relief to people who are suffering — without making them justify their pain first. The mother writing this to her son understood something that's easy to miss: there is a time for discipline and clear-headedness, and there is a time to simply show up with what helps. The king needed sobriety to do justice. The dying person needed mercy. Knowing which moment you're standing in is its own kind of wisdom. Think about the people in your orbit right now who are perishing in the less literal sense — the friend in a grief that won't lift, the coworker in the middle of something brutal, the neighbor whose diagnosis changed everything overnight. The instinct can be to offer perspective, or a silver lining, or a carefully chosen verse. Sometimes what suffering people need is simpler than anything you'd plan: a meal at the door, a text that says you haven't forgotten them, your presence at 2 PM on a Thursday when everyone else has moved on. Don't make people who are already exhausted prove they deserve your compassion. Just bring what you have and show up. That's the whole instruction.
Why does the mother in this passage distinguish between the king drinking and giving drink to the suffering — what principle about leadership and mercy is she teaching her son?
When you're going through something genuinely hard, what kind of support actually helps you — and what kind, even when well-meaning, tends to land flat?
Is there a risk in using 'compassion' as a reason to avoid harder conversations? How do you discern when someone needs mercy and when they need an honest, challenging truth?
Who in your life right now is carrying real anguish — and what would it look like to show up for them this week in one concrete, specific way?
What holds you back from being more freely compassionate — fear of saying the wrong thing, your own emotional exhaustion, not knowing what to do? What would one small step toward generosity look like?
And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.
1 Samuel 30:6
And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart.
Psalms 104:15
Be not among winebibbers ; among riotous eaters of flesh:
Proverbs 23:20
The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me: and I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy.
Job 29:13
Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.
1 Timothy 5:23
Give strong drink [as medicine] to him who is ready to pass away, And wine to him whose life is bitter.
AMP
Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress;
ESV
Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to him whose life is bitter.
NASB
Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish;
NIV
Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart.
NKJV
Alcohol is for the dying, and wine for those in bitter distress.
NLT
Use wine and beer only as sedatives, to kill the pain and dull the ache
MSG