And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
The book of Proverbs is a collection of wisdom teachings, largely framed as a father speaking directly to his son about how to live well. Chapter 5 is a frank, extended warning about the dangers of sexual unfaithfulness — specifically, pursuing a romantic relationship with someone who is not your spouse. Verse 20 is a rhetorical question, meaning it is designed to make the reader stop and think rather than to issue a command. The word translated "captivated" in the original Hebrew carries the idea of being intoxicated — being drunk on something. The father is asking: why would you let yourself be swept away by something that will ultimately leave you worse off, when something better and lasting is within reach? The question is meant to provoke reflection, not shame.
God, protect me from the slow drift toward things that look good but leave me empty. Give me eyes to see what I actually have before I throw it away chasing something that can't keep its promises. Guard my heart and my attention — and help me build the kind of love that lasts. Amen.
There's a reason advertisements, films, and novels spend so much energy on the forbidden rather than the familiar. Novelty is magnetic, and most of us are wired to find it so. But Proverbs 5 asks something blunter than any self-help book dares: why? Not a list of consequences — just a flat, honest "why would you trade what you have for what you don't?" The father isn't naive about temptation. He's been around long enough to know that captivation rarely announces itself. It starts as a glance, a lingering conversation, a comparison you allow yourself to sit with just a little too long. The spirit of this question reaches further than physical affairs. It's asking: where are you being slowly intoxicated by something that promises more than it can deliver? You might scan this verse and think it doesn't apply to you. But consider where your attention drifts, what your hunger keeps returning to, and whether what you're feeding yourself is making you more alive — or just more restless. The warning isn't meant to make you feel guilty. It's meant to make you think before you're already too far in to think clearly.
Why does Proverbs use a question here instead of a direct command? What effect does that rhetorical choice have on how the warning lands?
What are the early signs — long before anything serious happens — that someone is becoming "captivated" by a person or pursuit that could pull them away from their commitments?
Is it judgmental to say that some desires, even ones that feel completely natural, lead somewhere harmful? How do you think about that honestly without either excusing everything or condemning everything?
How can people in a community be honest with each other about temptation and struggle — without creating a culture of shame that makes people less likely to speak up?
What specific habits or boundaries do you currently have — or could put in place — that help you stay genuinely invested in the relationships and commitments that matter most to you?
It is joy to the just to do judgment: but destruction shall be to the workers of iniquity.
Proverbs 21:15
To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
Proverbs 2:16
To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Proverbs 6:24
Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck.
Song of Solomon 4:9
The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.
Proverbs 22:14
Why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an immoral woman And embrace the bosom of an outsider (pagan)?
AMP
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
ESV
For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
NASB
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?
NIV
For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
NKJV
Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?
NLT
Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?
MSG